


Two of... something.

by DeadLegato After Dark (deadlegato)



Series: 12 days of Smutness/Smutmas 2020 [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Blow Jobs, Candy Canes, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, PentNiss, Sir Pentious Has Two Penises (Hazbin Hotel), Sugarcock, Twelve Days of Smutness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlegato/pseuds/DeadLegato%20After%20Dark
Summary: Pentious has two holiday presents for Arackniss, but trust me, they ain't turtle doves.
Relationships: Arackniss/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: 12 days of Smutness/Smutmas 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074626
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59
Collections: The Twelve Days of Smutness 2020





	Two of... something.

“Pent, what have you done?” Arackniss asked, knocking on the heavy wooden door with one hand.

“N… nothing! I have not done anything!” the snake replied from behind the door, his voice slightly higher than was usual even for him.

“You are definitely up to something. I can hear your ‘I’m up to something’ laugh from down the hallway.” Arackniss pointed out, testing the doorknob next. “Tell me what you’re up to or I’ll just come in and see for myself. Even if it potentially mentally scars me.” The last one, he whispered under his breath.

“ _Technically_ , being up to something and having done something are different concepts, and you only asked me about…”

“I’m coming in,” Arackniss cut him off, opening the door.

“Wait, I’m not ready!” the black and yellow snake demon shrieked, pulling the heavy red velvet curtains on his massive four-poster bed shut. Despite his partner’s protests, Arackniss could see multiple red eyes peering at him through a crack.

“Are you going to come out of there and tell me what you’re doing, or am I going to have to come in there after you?” He already knew the answer, but he figured he’d give the snake the option.

The response he got was 100% the ‘I’m plotting trouble’ laugh, followed by the snake saying, “You’ll have to come and get me,” in a sing-song voice.

“If you’ve just hatched another one of your stupid genius ideas…” the spider sighed, removing his jacket before crawling up onto the bed. The snake lived for the finer things in life, having an exceptionally soft and plush bed with pale yellow high thread count sheets. Sometimes the spider thought he was going to sink all the way into it and never come out again.

“Tah-dah-dah!” the nakey snakey announced, hands wide. Not only was he making a giant, grandiose gesture… he had his cocks out, both of them. And he had… had…

The spider cracked up, laughing so hard his ribs hurt. He didn’t laugh very often. If you looked up ‘serious countenance’ online, his picture would be listed as an example. But this time, it was impossible not to laugh! There was his tall, brilliant, shiny black and yellow king cobra… with two dicks painted red and white like candy canes. “What did… what did… what did you do?” he asked between laughing wheezes.

The snake frowned, putting his hands on his hips. “I went through all this trouble to… to lower myself to the point of going into a sex shop to buy edible body paint, and you laugh? The entire time I kept looking around to make sure no one saw me going in or out. I was so embarrassed I might have shed on the spot if your porn star brother saw me.”

“You know you could have ordered it online,” the spider laughed, having to wipe tears of joy from the corners of all his red eyes. He had a lot of them.

“And… and have the mailman know that I have… perverted tastes!? I have a reputation as a _gentleman_ to maintain!” He was so cute when he puffed up with pride.

“Discrete packaging is a thing, Pent.”

“I… I also spent a significant amount of time perfectly painting those stripes! Do you know how hard it is to paint even stripes on your own… sexual appendages?”

“You did a very nice job, noodle. Here, bend down for a moment,” he said, giving his snake head-pats once he could reach his head. “It’s so pretty I hate to just immediately suck it off. You should let me take a picture first.”

“No… no dick picks” the embarrassed snake said, hands in front of his groin. When he was excited or embarrassed his hood popped out, and it hadn’t gone down the entire conversation.

“Come on, I promise it will stay private. I just want to remember this. I won’t include your face in the picture.”

“If your brother ever finds out…”

“You know I don’t talk about stuff like that to my brother. He’d never stop laughing,” the greyish black spider responded. He was trying to steady his phone through the chuckles that were still rolling through his shoulders. He didn’t want his potentially one opportunity to catch his noodle this way to be blurry. “So, let me guess, you got me two candy canes for the holidays, and you want me to suck them both clean?”

The snake thumped his tail with happy anticipation. “That would be the concept!” he said brightly with a full-fanged smile. Good Lucifer, he was such a doof.

“You’re better at this than I am though, with that twirly tongue of yours,” the spider answered back.

“I… well, I know you’re… still getting… comfortable with the idea of being bisexual, and I thought… a little holiday levity would… help,” the snake stammered, rubbing one arm awkwardly as he broke eye contact.

“Hey, I didn’t say no. I’m just saying, don’t set your expectations too high,” he responded. Actually, as many times as he’d gotten a blow job from his darling partner, he had never given one in his life. He figured as long as they’d been together it was about time to reciprocate, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous about it.

The snake seemed to soften a bit, lightly putting his hands on his partner’s furry shoulders and starting with a shoulder rub. His hands were capable of such firm yet delicate movements from all the time he spent working on intricate machines. The spider shuddered slightly under his partner’s touch, making wide circles on his upper shoulder blades. “If it’s from you, I’ll enjoy it. Worry about having a good time, not being good.”

“How can you be both the most well-spoken demon I know and yet you still say random things like pogchamp without knowing what it means?”

“Sssh, stuff your mouth before you ruin the moment. By the way… it is peppermint flavored.”

“Hey, that’s my line! And I know, I can smell it from here,” Arackniss joked, but he lowered himself down. Well, here goes… nothing. Or perhaps here goes… something? He wasn’t sure what to think.

He started with the nubby head on the left side, working his tongue slowly up and down the length. The snake liked to say he was ambidicksterous, but Arackniss had noticed he did have a slight preference for starting with his left side and moving to his right later. The serpent was exquisitely sensitive, and he was already getting a little bit trembly just from flicking the head.

There wasn’t a lot of places to hold onto a snake for support, so he placed his lower hands onto the overly soft sheets while placing the uppers on each side of his partner’s tiny waist. “Take a breather if you need to, darling,” the snake encouraged, continuing to give the spider an encouraging shoulder rub. He sounded like _he_ needed the breather, beginning to pant from the pleasure, his tongue flickering eagerly between his fangs.

Of course the snake had several advantages on the spider, having a tongue that was built to flick and a mouth that was specifically evolved to allow him to breathe with his jaws full, but that didn’t mean the mobster was going down without a fight. Everyone underestimates him because of his small stature, but he always managed to surprise them in the end. Usually he was doing the surprising with a gun though, not with his mouth muscles.

Speaking of the end, as he sucked hard, moving his tongue as much as he could with his mouth stuffed with Pentious’ hardened member, he had licked off all the body paint by now. He could tell his partner was getting close to climax by the characteristic happy squeaking snake noises he was getting. He paused. “I hope this doesn’t ruin the mood, but do you mind if I… finish this with a hand job? I’m still not quite at the idea of taking a mouthful of…” he let his voice trail off. The little bit of precum had been enough of a stretch outside of his usual safe boundaries.

“Of course! I wouldn’t make you do anything that made you uncomfortable,” Pentious responded between whimpers.

“Thanks, noodle,” he said. He had four hands, and he was going to use all of them in a highly choreographed fashion to bring his partner to climax. As was usual for their interactions, more of the serpent’s bursting seed ended up on his own scales. He really didn’t mind, as they were considerably easier to wash than spider fur when it came to sticky substances.

“You feel like you can do a round two? Need a breather first?”

“Need a breather and a chance to build up some saliva again,” Arackniss grunted, his mouth surprisingly dry. “But you went through all that work of painting both cocks up pretty for me, so I’d hate to waste it. Next time though… just for your reference, I prefer cherry.”

“Maybe next time you can actually find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootise roll,” the snake joked, sinking down onto the bed.

“Kind of a dated reference, isn’t that, you old fart?” the spider joked, slumping down into the pillows.

“I’m not old, I’m… vintage!” the cobra argued back. His red eyes shone like rubies in the dim light of the room. Pentious was extremely into his Victorian-era vibe, to the point where he’d gotten electric lights that were as close to mimicking gas lighting as he could.

“You’re antique.”

“Classic.”

“Okay, babe. Whatever you say. I’d better finish the job before I fall asleep,” he yawned. “I’m getting a bit tired.”

“You don’t have to if you’re too tired.”

“Nah, noodle, I told you I didn’t want to waste that paint job of yours. You really are good at detail work.” The snake puffed with pride yet again. He loved being complimented. The only thing he loved more than having his dicks stroked was having his ego stroked. “Let’s try this position, you can stay lying down,” he said, crawling over a bit on his belly. “You ready, noodle?”

“The question is, are you ready?” It was only recently that Arackniss had accepted that he had bisexual feelings, and Pentious was his first male relationship. One thing he truly appreciated was that his serpent lover understood his difficulty accepting his increased range of sexuality. He never pushed too hard. As bombastic, flamboyant, and simply _loud_ as Pentious could be in public… he was as gentle as a scaly pillow in private. 

The peppermint tingled slightly in his mouth. He noticed it more this time now that he was more relaxed, less worried about his performance. It wasn’t a bad sensation. He might be willing to try this again, and he meant that. He wished he could have done it himself, but the paint probably would have just gotten stuck in his fur. A scaled demon didn’t have that problem.

A little jerk and a pulsing sensation told him he’d hit a sweet spot… pun unintended. He was kind of worried that his partner might have sensed his unease and was pushing himself to cum quickly. He knew Pentious had great lasting power when he wanted to. Some might have found the snake constantly repeating “You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to” annoying, but… he honestly thought he wouldn’t be able to go forward if he didn’t have that much reassurance.

He continued sucking, licking, pumping as he rocked slightly on his palms until the whining and writhing snake was at his very edge, then once again switched over to finish with his hands. Some… some day he’d be able to go all the way to end giving his partner a blowjob. Just… today wasn’t that day, and he couldn’t have been more grateful that his beloved noodle understood and supported him.

The snake seemed perfectly content with his performance one way or another, as he gave Arackniss lots of tongue-flick kisses as a reward. Even if he did have to stop to spit out spider fur stuck to his tongue occasionally. This made the spider chortle. “I’m gonna go rinse with mouthwash before I return those kisses… unless you like the taste of your own dick,” he said with a bemused shake of his head, getting up and stretching.

“Don’t take too long, love, or I might fall asleep before you get back,” Pentious yawned.

He was actually glad for Pentious’ love of low lighting when he went into the bathroom to find the little cups and the mouthwash. He didn’t want to… he didn’t want to look into his own face right then. As much as he loved his partner, loved letting his partner play with his body, loved doing things to his noodle, his father’s cruel words about his brother’s own homosexuality would start stinging him if he did, as though they had been carved into his skin with a sharpened blade. He was slowly starting to stitch those wounds back together, but they were easy to reopen, and left scars even when they did heal. If he didn’t have Pentious to swat away the bad thoughts whenever they swelled up in his throat, making him want to vomit… he didn’t think he could do it.

“Niss?” Pentious asked with a yawn when he finally returned to the warm bed. “You took a while. You okay.”

“Yeah, just got lost in my thoughts.” He took a deep breath. “Could you… could you do your tail thing again?”

“Gladly,” the snake answered, wrapping his tail around his spider. It was like the world’s most comfortable weighted blanket. It made the anxiety bubbling inside him just… melt away.

“Thanks for being so patient with me.”

“You’re worth waiting for,” the snake responded slowly, his voice drifting away with all of his multitude of eyes slipping shut as he drifted off into his own dreams. He was probably dreaming of being an Overlord, crushing all who opposed him under his scales again. His precious noodle was so predictable.

“Sweet dreams, noodle,” he said, letting his own eyes slide shut.


End file.
